"I want to share this picture more then any other. This is the moment that changed me. That made me fight even harder then I ever thought possible. This is the moment I felt life." - Kristine Ross
Unstoppable Warrior Mom Monday
Hey guys it Unstoppable Warrior Mom Monday and today I have a very special interview and story to share with you. A week or so back I came across a short story that a very creative woman had written and was asking for advice and feedback. After reading the story I just had to get in touch with this amazing woman and so today I introduce you to Kristine Ross. We share mutual friends on facebook, are from the same area in Florida although have never met in real life, have many common interest, we are both moms and wives and love to write.
So join me on a truly inspirational journey today with a Super Unstoppable Warrior Mom!!! p.s. you might want to keep a box of tissues near.... I needed some.
Me: Kristine please tell me alittle about yourself. Where are you from? Your favorite colors and food!!!
Kristine: My name is Kristine Ross and I'm from Sarasota, FL. My favorite colors are blue and green, each one identifies one of my twin boys. Favorite food is Italian always has been, but unfortunately my family only loves pizza so I don't get to indulge very often. Although, I suppose that's what ice cream is for!
Me: What are your hobbies?
Kristine: My hobbies? Keeping my head above water!
Here's Kristine story…...
Only January 19th of 2009 my husband, Brian, and I found out we were having twins. Don't ask me how but somehow I already knew this. Perhaps it was Mother's intuition but I really don't know. Just a strange feeling I got and maybe too much of those baby shows on TLC. I had a horribly difficult pregnancy with lots of hospital visits, 2 weeks of hospital bed rest and observation for what they called "irritable uterus", aka constant contractions, and pre-eclampsia. All of this ended in a c-section 5 weeks ahead of schedule. On July 23, 2009, my boys River and Alexander were born and despite all of my crazy and frustrations with day to day life managing twins, I am forever thankful. They are my reason for being alive as they saved my life and give me the strength to keep fighting for the next.
My life has been far from easy, to say the least. There are very few struggles that I cannot relate to in some way. Growing up we had a lot of dysfunction, a lot of strife and lot of pain. My parents tell me that when I was little I showed signs of depression and ever since I can remember I've always felt that I was different. I used to, and still sometimes do, try and cling to others happiness as it seems to come so much easier for them. Everything comes with a price, right? Well, consider mine infinitely pricey.
My depression has been extraordinarily difficult. I'm a constant roller coaster of emotions dipping to the lowest of lows to the highest of highs, which I should mention still fall short of most but get better each time. I've been in and out of therapy for over 3/4 of my 31 years of existence with a majority of it not working. While I was pregnant I dipped into a very low period of my life, granted it was not as bad as previously but enough to rob me of the happiness that is always associated and assumed with pregnancy. I couldn't sleep, had a hard time getting the proper calories, cried almost every day and found myself having to go back on medication to sustain a mediocre level of consistency. After the boys were born I dipped even lower and fell into a massive depression. I thought about suicide almost every day and really had to rely of the strength of everyone else to accept that being present in my children's lives was far better then leaving it all behind. I was like this until just after they turned 2. The postpartum destroyed my relationships with family and all I could talk about was my past. Fortunately, while I was pregnant, I managed to find a wonderful therapist who's managed to do what all the others haven't...give me hope. It's a sad story but I got referred to her on a pretty mandatory basis from the mental health hospital I checked myself into while 26 weeks pregnant. It's one of the many tragic moments in my life that I can look back on and say that I am really glad that happened. She was able to give me a proper diagnosis and work to better my life. Somewhere after the boys' first birthday I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
In many ways, creatively speaking, I am lucky. I have a never ending source of material and life experiences to pull from, which is exactly what I do. When I write I am usually in a very dark place, as is the case with this story people fell in love with. A few days prior to this moment actually happening with my sweet boy River, I had a flashback to a particular moment in my life. You know that feeling you get in your body when you smell or see something that reminds you of something important in your life? Typically people are brought to happy moments that bring a smile to your face. Mine? They take me to dark places. Places no one wishes to be.
It brought me to the age of 15. The age that I attempted suicide. I felt very unstable and unsafe. I didn't trust my judgment anymore and thought that my temptations for a solution would get the best of me. I cried and cried those early days and since my boys are tender and sweet they have extreme compassion and empathy for my swings down. I remember one day, not long ago, that they were the ones that had to console me as I was unable to do it myself. I was hysterical and looked to them and said "boys, Mommy might be crying and very sad right now but it's not your fault, okay? It's never your fault." Just after I said that they looked at me, put their hands on my back, gently rubbed as I do them when they are upset and said "It's okay Mommy".
Me: Kristine, could you share with us some of your stories?
Kristine: "The one I am working on right now is about the suicide attempt of my past. That very night that I made a pros and cons list to justify my exit to this world. The very night that my future children saved my life. The cons list could have been endless and my cons list had 1 reason, children. You see, since my childhood was so extreme I fully believed that one day I would have the chance to better it, if not for me, for my family. Children, I thought, would give me a redo, a light, a sense of joy I had never experienced, and most importantly a lifeline to keep pushing forward and fight for each breath. I'm happy to say it has been completely accurate and the air that fills my lungs and the beats my heart takes are all thanks to my boys. For each thing I can release I open doors to create happiness. I'm hopeful to one day be able to just live completely in this moment rather then a constant revolving door of past and present. I want to let people know that it's possible to come back even if you have to do it every year, every month, every week or every day. It's possible."
Fellow Blog followers I promise you I will keep up with Kristine and help her get her stories heard. There is so much we can learn from each other and also so much love and encouragement we can give each other. The advice Kristine gave is just perfect for all of us in this very moment..... where ever life finds us right now. "It's Possible"
Being an Unstoppable Warrior Mom is about living our best lives, its about over coming the obstacles, and facing the challenges head on. As moms its more demanding on us and absolutely important that we take the best care of ourselves so we can in turn take the best care of our children and families. Kristine is a perfect example of a woman living her life the best she can and giving her boys the best life they can get from a wonderful mom. I am in tears as I write this because I am so touched my by the power of Kristine's message and the strength she has. I think you are all as anxious as I am to begin reading more of Kristine's work…. So Kristine get it to me and let's share your stories together!
Me: Kristine what drives you to write?
Kristine: So what drives me and compels me to write other than expression? Life.
Kristine's story is so inspirational for all of us moms out there and it is my feeling that there are many of us who can identify with Kristine. Kristine's wiring is powerful and full of life and expression. I know she will reach the world through her creativity and passion. Thank you Kristine for sharing your story, opening up to us and inspiring us with your courage, hope and beautiful message! You truly are an Unstoppable Warrior Mom and I Believe in YOU!!!
If you'd like to get in touch with Kristine, send her a shot out or show some love you can reach her at email@example.com.
I Believe in All of YOU!!! Make TODAY Count:)
Visits to this page: