Embracing brokenness. It offends our intellect. It offends our religiousness. It offends our self-efficiency. We despise having to do it. But when our life picture is broken enough, we come to the place where we realize exchanging our brokenness for His wholeness is the only real choice we can make. It is the beginning of really living.
Some days I feel like I am in a battle with the “I have it all together” mentality. This insane notion that I might actually have all my ducks in a row- as if I am trying to concoct some kind of facade that says all is right with me.
The moments when I am at my most real- when my true self (soul) surfaces- are those in which I am acutely aware of my brokenness. The complete and utterly messed up state that I would abide in- if it were not for the precious and redeeming presence of my God and Savior Jesus Christ.
I cannot do this alone.
I am not sufficient unto myself.
2 Corinthians 3:4-5 Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are competent of ourselves to claim anything as coming from us; our competence is from God…
All good that comes forth from me, only comes by way of God’s precious Spirit working in and through me.
He enables me to perform good works, to bring honor and glory to God’s name.
Therefore, I have no boast, except in Jesus Christ my Lord, and the salvation lavished on me by God.
The raw, vulnerable reality of my brokenness is painful at times. I remember when I even tried to hide that from God, as if I could ever be successful in such an endeavor.
Sometimes I still try to hide it (my brokenness) from myself and others. When I try- many times I find myself entertaining pride.
As God continues to bring passages about humility and brokenness to mind, I find myself staring at the one thing I desperately need to stay in communion with my precious Savior.
Psalm 25:9 He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.
Matthew 23:12 All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted.
1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time.
The minute I begin to commend myself, to think I have it together…or when I begin to entertain thoughts of my fruit or lack thereof compared to others…when I get impatient with others struggling at different points in their spiritual journey-insidious pride seeps in- longing to destroy or undermine any work that God begins to do in my heart.
In Christ I live, and move, and have my being. Apart from him I can do nothing. He is the well-spring of every good work that pours forth from me. It is His from start to finish.
Peter understood that well as evidenced in Acts 3. Strongly rooted in his identity in Christ, he immediately deflected any attention for healing the lame man away from himself and pointed all who were listening toward the cross and Jesus Christ.
David lived brokenness. When confronted with his sinfulness, he immediately repented and sought the Lord. He gives us a stirring and vulnerable view of his own repentance in Psalm 51.
Psalm 51:16-17 For you have no delight in sacrifice;
if I were to give a burnt offering, you would not be pleased.
The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
I want to live in communion with Christ. To abide in Him; for the power of God to overtake me through his Holy Spirit.
Scripture tells me how I can know God will draw near to me, and be present with me.
Give the pieces of your broken life to him. See him holding them tenderly in his hands, touching the brokenness and putting the pieces back together. He is the only one who understands what the original picture looked like before it was broken. His touch puts it back together in a way that makes your brokenness look like a picture of Him.
So here I am today. Looking into His eyes. Pouring the oil of my heart and soul onto his head. And realizing he has been waiting for me to truly see how broken I am so that he can receive my true love and teach me how to receive his true love.
And just as if I were a little girl again, I write a love note which says: Joanna + Jesus 2-gether 4 ever.
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