Happy Monday! I hope this weekend was one of happiness and fulfillment for you.
This word is used so often that I question whether or not we realize the true significance of it.
We must have confidence to face fears such as taking a test... you must be confident you studied enough and know the material and then confidently enter the room and take the test!
If your going out to run a race you've been training hard for... pounding the pavement... sweating... envisioning your success... waking up at 5am to train before work or school... you must step up to the starting line with confidence in your ability to complete it!
We must have confidence in our loved ones when we trust them with important parts of our lives such as keeping information private, caring for our loved ones and pets while away on vacation, leaving our kids with them, confidence in the bond we have as family members.
I remember when I was a teenager competing in speaking contests... I knew my speeches.. I was prepared but the butterflies that filled my stomach and the size of the audience was sometimes overwhelming.. but thankfully I had parents and loved ones that believed in me and told me to be "confident" and so I did and all went well.
During high school I was madly in love with rodeo. It consumed me.. There was nothing I cared more about than riding my horses and competing. But as I would approach the arena gate and the announcer would call my name and all would go silent... so would go my confidence... the nerves would set in, my fear of not being fast enough or as good as the other girls was so strong… and time after time I ate dirt while stepping off of my horse to goat tie... all because I quickly lost my confidence.
Confidence is so easy to give others, it's easy to get when we prove ourselves but it's even easier to lose when we don't trust ourselves or fear overwhelms us.
I have had so many beautiful victories in all areas of my life when I believed in myself and was confident.
One of the major areas I focus on with all of my life coaching clients is self confidence. We all struggle with it because we so often feel we aren't enough or we are constantly comparing ourselves to others… STOP… You must be the best You, you can be!!!
What does confidence mean to you? Let me ask you a few questions and you take time to reflect and think about them as you start your week. We can discuss many areas of confidence but today we will target self confidence!
Are you confident at work? Do you know your role and do it well?
Are you confident in your relationships? Do you give as well as receive?
Are you confident you do your best all the time?
Are you confident you know who you are and what makes you happy and content?
It is so easy lose yourself confidence in times of brokenness... maybe the loss of a loved one or a broken relationship. I see teens as well as adults who have been bullied and they have very little self confidence. It's important we encourage and love others and it's also important to take care of yourself and work to build your own self confidence.
Here are 14 easy to implement ways to immediately boost yourself confidence:
Self-confidence is an infectious quality that automatically makes any person that much more attractive. Whether it is a job interview, an inquiry for a raise, or a date, confidence will surely do everything but hurt you.
Yet, what are some practical steps to developing confidence?
Do you have to be born with confidence, or can it be developed?
I believe it can be cultivated and here are some practical steps to developing confidence.
1. DON’T COMPARE, BUT APPRECIATE.
The way we interact with the world within us affects the way we interact with the world around us; that is, our emotions, our desires, our fears and goals. In other words, how you feel about yourself is communicated to others consciously and unconsciously.
This is important to know because when you compare yourself to others it will develop this inner critic voice. A voice within that believes you are not good enough only to find “so called” truth in comparing yourself chronically to others.
The lack of self confidence will be picked up on. Some people may not even reject you, but they may steer clear of signs of insecurity.
Instead of comparing yourself to others try appreciating the skills of others. Ultimately, appreciate your own set of gifts and talents and focus on your “unique” qualities.
2. DON’T WEAR A MASK, BUT BE YOURSELF.
A lack of self-confidence, or the trust in ones own ability, can cause some to be a different person in public! Putting on a mask will only increase feelings of loneliness, and this fleeting feeling that no one “gets you”.
But in order for people to “get you” then you have to be YOU so they can love this person.
In relationships, confidence is important but so is being who you truly are at your core.
3. DON’T BE SO UPTIGHT, BUT LEARN HOW TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF!
When I was younger, a bully (yes, I was bullied!) once told that me that if I didn’t learn how to laugh at myself, then the entire world will laugh at me for me.
I believe Carl Jung once said that what you resist will persist.
Look at your insecurities in the eye and laugh in their face. It will help you to be less critical when one of them floats to the surface.
4. DON’T BE A LONER, BUT FIND LIKE MINDED PEOPLE.
Be part of a group of some organization, again, where you can fully be yourself.
If you are part of a group of friends or even have family members who influence you to feel like you are worthless, then it is time for you to find another group of folks to hang out with. (Of course, if possible, if someone is being not so nice, then try to communicate your emotions by the way)
Write down five things you really like to do and find others who like to do those things, that simple.
5. DON’T LIVE IN THE PAST OR THE FUTURE, BUT THRIVE IN THE NOW.
Maybe you had some very embarrassing episodes as a child, or even had a horrible dating experience; the fact of the matter is that self-confidence is in the now.
Looking to the past will generate regret and looking to the future with no hope will generate fear. Living in this moment and being secure in who we are is key.
Self-confidence is the fruit of positive focus, while also accepting the not so good things about yourself. Give it a try and see how your life shifts big time.
6. Dress for success
Dressing well and appropriately can do wonders for one’s self esteem. Many of us wear clothes that look nice on the clothes rack but do not necessarily suit our body type. Wear clothes that fit you well. Dressing well does not mean you need to spend your entire salary investing in designer brands. Choose your clothes wisely — it’s quality not quantity that counts. Pick up a few outfits that make a statement instead of loads of outfits that do nothing for your confidence.
The other thing to do is watch the popular verdict. If most people say pink is your color and you feel comfortable wearing pink, do it.
7. Walk Smart
Do you take small, shuffling steps? Do you fling your arms around when you walk? Stop! You may be doing something sub-consciously that does not really compliment your style.
Be aware of how you walk. Be quick and energetic with a spring in your step. Think of a nice outdoor activity that you like doing, feeling the breeze on your face and letting your heart guide your walk.
If you are still not comfortable, try this age-old trick. Place a big book on your head and try to walk without dropping it. This is a great way to improve posture and gait.
8. Be Empathic
Your confidence levels rise drastically when you successfully connect with people around you. For that you need to be empathic towards your family, friends and colleagues to begin with. Once you can deal and help other people with their emotions and problems, you immediately increase your influence with your circle of friends, acquaintances and colleagues.
9. Learn to Calm Yourself
This is probably the most important factor when it comes to confidence — being able to face every situation calmly. But this does not come naturally to everyone, which is why you need to train yourself.
Find activities that calm you — like taking a walk, listening to music, dancing, talking to your friends, reading, writing, gardening, cooking — any activity that makes you feel happy. Do it these as much as possible... I suggest daily but even once or twice a week or month, depending on the time you have. Meditation techniques help me alot and I have found great ones on Youtube.
10. Empower Yourself
Knowledge almost always boosts self-confidence. Empower yourself with knowledge — of your surroundings, of your job, of people, of the world around you. A good grasp of current events helps you strike up meaningful conversation and ensures that you’re not left out.
One of the simplest things to do is read the newspaper, talk to people and be aware and observant.
11. Keep a Soul Knick-knack
A soul knick-knack can help you tide over those times when your confidence is tested. It could be your guru’s photo, a gift from a loved one, your lucky charm, or even a photograph of a loved one. This soul knick-knack needs to be something that can bring a smile to your face, especially during testing times.
12. Find Solutions to Problems
Do not procrastinate or run away from your problems. The sign of a confident person is that he or she takes the problem head on and finds a solution. If you don’t think you can handle it on your own, there is no shame in seeking help.
Talk about it with friends or colleagues, or write it down while listing to various solutions, pros and cons.
13. Smile Often
To complete the look, make sure to smile. Smile as often as you can and, if you can manage, let a tiny smile hang around the corners of your mouth.
In all your interactions, look people in the eye, greet them and smile. You’ll see the other person transform in front of you.
14. Good Posture
Good posture has an immediate and lasting impact on your confidence. Do you remember the time you were at the door, about to face an interview? What did you do instinctively? Did you take a deep breath? By doing those two things happen — your stomach goes in and your head is held high.
Always hold your head high, throw your shoulders back, keep your back straight and walk with confident steps. Practice in the mirror a few times to make sure your doing it right, without looking too stiff.
I hope these simple techniques help boost your confidence this week and you make it your best week!
Please share below your thoughts and ideas on confidence!!
Lots of love friends,
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